Kimberly Stewart

Kimberly Stewart models for “Adore Moi” lingerie

Posted on May 8th, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Kimberly Stewart

So the company Ultimo has hired Kimberly Stewart as the spokesmodel for their line of lingerie called “Adore Moi”. And I can’t for the life of me figure out why they’d want to do that. I mean, they have hottie Sarah Harding modeling their bikini’s, so they obviously don’t have a company death wish. Is there some attractive quality about Kimberly Stewart that I’m just not seeing? Whenever I look at her, all I can think about is how many babies she’s probably made cry.

Specsavers Opticians hires Kimberly Stewart as their spokesperson

Posted on April 16th, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Kimberly Stewart

Some company that I’ve never heard of called Specsavers Opticians has hired Kimberly Stewart as their new spokesperson. And yes, I too am still trying to figure out why. Perhaps they decided that they wanted the company to go under before it ever became successful. Or maybe they thought this would make Kimberly Stewart’s fans want to buy glasses from them. And by “fans”, I mean “her mom”. Probably not her dad though.

Kimberly Stewart in lingerie trying to promote Specsavers Opticians glasses:

Lindsay Lohan and Kimberly Stewart are friends

Posted on April 2nd, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Kimberly Stewart, Lindsay Lohan

I also knew Lindsay Lohan would eventually find a friend more repulsive than she is. Sure, Kimberly Stewart probably hasn’t been with as many men as Lindsay (actually, I doubt she’s been with any men at all), but I’m pretty sure that looking at her can give you ghonorria. Please excuse me now while I sanitize myself.

High quality candid paparazzi pictures of Lindsay Lohan and Kimberly Stewart having lunch in Malibu, CA on April 1st, 2007:

Kimberly Stewart is still sexy

Posted on March 16th, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Kimberly Stewart

I thought you might like to start your Friday with a healthy dose of fug, and it was a decision between a picture of a stopped-up toilet and these pictures. Kimberly Stewart ended up winning, because I wanted to gross out as many people as humanly possible.

Kimberly Stewart has amazing fashion sense

Posted on March 15th, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Kimberly Stewart

Look at Kimberly Stewart’s outfit. It’s so new. It’s so fresh. It’s so… hideous. I honestly have no idea what look she was going for here, but it’s just not working. Do you think maybe she gets dressed in the dark? Or perhaps she was trying to take the attention away from her lopsided face. Honestly, I have a redneck cousin that doesn’t know the first thing about style, and even he’d look like a fashionista compared to her in these pictures.

High quality candid paparazzi pictures of Kimberly Stewart leaving the Coffee Bean in Beverly Hills on March 14th, 2007:

Kimberly Stewart is a hot bitch

Posted on March 13th, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Kimberly Stewart

Is anyone else as turned on as I am right now? Because it doesn’t get much sexier than this. I thought animals like Kimberly normally hibernate this time of year, so it’s a rare treat that we get to see one out in it’s natural habitat right now.

High quality candid paparazi pictures of Kimberly Stewart at Hyde Lounge in Hollywood, CA on March 13th, 2007:

Lindsay Lohan owns a lot of bikinis

Posted on July 10th, 2006 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: Brandon Davis, Celebrity Bikini Pictures, Celebrity Boobs, Jessica Simpson, Kimberly Stewart, Lindsay Lohan

So this is is Lindsay Lohan wearing her 38960546th bikini in the past four days, which is good news for me now that she gotten her titties back. It appears that she’s trying to start a new trend of wearing bikinis everywhere you go, which will be a good thing if people like Jessica Simpson start doing it, and a really bad thing of people like Kimberly Stewart do.

Pictures of Lindsay Lohan in a green bikini on July 8th, 2006:

Lindsay Lohan doesn’t like pretty people

Posted on June 19th, 2006 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: Kimberly Stewart, Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan doesn’t like to be around people that are prettier than her, which is basically everyone.

We’re told that Lohan’s bodyguard has been known to usher away young beauties who sit at her banquette, even if they’re with her friends. Our spy claims the bodyguard confessed to enforcing the rule while pleading with a nightclub nymph to find a perch somewhere else.

So I’m guessing by the end of the night, Lindsay was left sitting by herself. Unless Kimberly Stewart was there. Then she was probably sitting with her. Because Kimberly Stewart is the only other celebrity I can think of who has even worse fashion sense, even less skin pigment, and an even more inverted chest than Lindsay Lohan.