Paris Hilton hires good writers

Paris Hilton issued a statement through her attorney that reads as follows:

After reading the media’s coverage of my court hearing, I feel the need to correct what I believe are misperceptions about me. I absolutely realize how serious driving under the influence is. I could not live with myself if anyone was injured or killed while I was driving while impaired. Clearly, no one should — no matter how slightly.

I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation.

No one is above the law. I surely am not. I do not expect to be treated better than anyone else who violated probation. However, my hope is that I will not be treated worse.

I have a feeling the original letter that Paris drafted went something like “OMG plz dont send me to jayle b/c im hot and rich and peepl in jayles arnt. plus im famuss so that makes a difrnce 2, rite? kthnx!”. And then her attorneys explained that you can’t release an official notice via text message. And then she probably just looked at them, dumbfounded, and asked what they were talking about again.

High quality candid paparazzi pictures of Paris Hilton leaving the gym in Beverly Hills on May 9th, 2007: